I was that little, dark-skinned girl that everyone picked on. I was that tomb boy that played football during recess. I was that girl who skipped school. I was that student who was retained twice. And yes, I was the low self-esteem girl who felt sex was the answer to my loneliness. But, after the pleasure faded, and the moment ended. I sunk deeper and deeper into pity and self-doubt. I had to break this cycle because after every sinful act a piece of me died. I have lived and now I know several truths about what sex is not:
- You cannot find love in sex, but rather real love is magnified by sex between a husband and wife.
- Sex will not boost your self-esteem. (A sexual partner cannot give you what you need to love yourself, you have to do that.)
Pre-marital sex is a lie. It will cloud your judgment. It will give you false hope. You will place yourself in an unhealthy cycle. I was there, but I had to break this cycle because after every sinful act a piece of me died. Look at me today, I have been restored. I stand as a beautiful woman of God. I have learned from ridicule. I ignore negativity. I embrace my blackness. I have graduated with a Master’s Degree. I have overcome sexual sin. I love myself.
What got me to this point? God. God saved me. God told me that I was fearfully and wonderfully made (Psalm 139:14). When I felt low and unloved and wanted to sink back into sexual sin, God said that I was chosen. He bought me out of darkness and now I walk in his light (1 Peter 2:9).
Look in the mirror, build yourself up. Set standards, have values, never compromise. My message is clear sexual pleasure is but a moment. Pre-marital sex won’t give you fulfilment nor self-worth. Sex does not prove love. God is love. Seek God, look within. Love yourself first.