I was that little, dark-skinned girl that everyone picked on. I was that tomb boy that played football during recess. I was that girl who skipped school. I was that student who was retained twice. And yes, I was the low self-esteem girl who felt sex was the answer to my loneliness. But, after the pleasure faded, and the moment ended. I sunk deeper and deeper into pity and self-doubt. I had to break this cycle because after every sinful act a piece of me died. I have lived and now I know several truths about what sex is not:

  • You cannot find love in sex, but rather real love is magnified by sex between a husband and wife.
  • Sex will not boost your self-esteem. (A sexual partner cannot give you what you need to love yourself, you have to do that.)

Pre-marital sex is a lie. It will cloud your judgment. It will give you false hope. You will place yourself in an unhealthy cycle. I was there, but I had to break this cycle because after every sinful act a piece of me died. Look at me today, I have been restored. I stand as a beautiful woman of God. I have learned from ridicule. I ignore negativity. I embrace my blackness. I have graduated with a Master’s Degree. I have overcome sexual sin. I love myself.

What got me to this point? God. God saved me. God told me that I was fearfully and wonderfully made (Psalm 139:14). When I felt low and unloved and wanted to sink back into sexual sin, God said that I was chosen. He bought me out of darkness and now I walk in his light (1 Peter 2:9).

Look in the mirror, build yourself up. Set standards, have values, never compromise. My message is clear sexual pleasure is but a moment. Pre-marital sex won’t give you fulfilment nor self-worth. Sex does not prove love. God is love. Seek God, look within. Love yourself first.

  1. We gain strength, and courage, and confidence by each experience.

  2. Yes we certainly do. Each day is a new lesson and when you know better you do better.

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